my last week of vacation

It's been such a blast. Next week I'll be back at work, and I'm totally dreading it.
My little boy is going to cry, I'm going to cry...it's going to be a horrible mess.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I would much rather be home with my little boy.
It totally sucks. Money sucks. I mean, yes, you can buy nice and pretty things with it, but at what cost? Cost of family time, that's what. And living in this way too expensive and overly ambitious society is just not fair for children. Look at Canada, they have a year of maternity leave! It's not fuckin' fair. I only had two and half months and then I had to go back to work. It was hard then, and hard again after every beautifully long vacation...who am I kidding, it's hard everyday. But we have to do it because it pays the bills. It pays the bills, pays for food, clothing, toys and things that we need and sometimes just want. And it pays for the nanny....see the cycle? It's life, but it's not fair. But who said life was ever fair?
I don't resent Josh. He works his ass off, I know. And I know he wishes I could stay home, at least part-time. But it's impossible for that to happen. Maybe in a few years I can go part-time. Maybe when Julius starts kindergarden. Yeah, I can be hopeful. He's two now. Maybe when he's five? Yeah, I don't want another baby. I know it might sound a little odd, but I feel like it's already complete. I can't imagine anyone else in my family other than Julius and my hubby. Just the three of us. My heart is complete.
So maybe when he's 5 I can go part-time. It won't be that bad. I'll work when he's at school and be home when he's home....kindergarden is a full day here. So he'd be done at three and so would I. That could work. I could do that.
Just three more years.