Today Julius, my two year old son, astonished me with his observation of gender roles.
I mean, before he was even born, Josh and I knew we would expose him to all toys and not fall into the trap of gender specific toys and "this is for boys" and "this is for girls."
Julius has played with dolls, pushed toy strollers, owns a kitchen set, and enjoys painting, singing and dancing. He also loves rough-housing, playing hockey, ball games and playing with cars/trucks/trains.
So to me, I felt we were doing a good job raising Julius to not believe in gender specific toys, etc.
But then today, Julius blew me away with a comment he said:
We were in the car. I was driving and he was in the back in his carseat. I hear his voice ask, "Mommy, are you a boy?"
Now I thought that was a silly question since Julius was able to identify boys vs. girls since he was 18 months old. So I figure he's being silly. I answer, "No, silly goose. Mommy's a girl."
He pauses, then says, "No, Mommy. You're a boy."
I'm baffled. So I ask, "Why do you think Mommy is a boy?"
He replies, "Because you play with my toys."
"Yes, I play with your toys with you."
It makes so much sense in his two year old mind, "You're a boy."
So I ask, "What would make me a girl?"
Again, his logic astounds me. "Claire (his neighborhood friend) plays with girl toys. She's a girl."
So I explain to him that boys can play with boy toys and girl toys. And that girls can play with girl toys and boy toys. And that it's okay to play with whatever toy you want to play with.
So now I sit here wondering how he had come to that previous conclusion about Mommy being a boy because I would play with his toys with him? Did someone tell him in school that he had to play with certain "boy" toys or else he was a girl? And if so, what two year old says that? Did he see it on television? And I think about what shows he watches, and none of them are gender specific. In fact, he barely watches television. But he does love watching Little Bear before dinner, and that is rather conservative IMO. Though I like the idea of Little Bear using his imagination and flying to the moon, blah blah blah... the roles do seem a bit gender specific (mother bear stays at home: cooks and cleans. father bear is a fisherman and often at work. Emily plays with dolls and has tea parties.... hmmm, could that be it?)
How can a two year old (okay, he's 31 months, but that's still a two year old) conclude that boys must play with boy toys and girls must play with girl toys? Is this an example of the Social Learning Theory at work? But I always thought that children didn't notice gender roles until the age of four or five....
Julius is TWO!!
Blows my mind. Totally blows my mind.
I mean, before he was even born, Josh and I knew we would expose him to all toys and not fall into the trap of gender specific toys and "this is for boys" and "this is for girls."
Julius has played with dolls, pushed toy strollers, owns a kitchen set, and enjoys painting, singing and dancing. He also loves rough-housing, playing hockey, ball games and playing with cars/trucks/trains.
So to me, I felt we were doing a good job raising Julius to not believe in gender specific toys, etc.
But then today, Julius blew me away with a comment he said:
We were in the car. I was driving and he was in the back in his carseat. I hear his voice ask, "Mommy, are you a boy?"
Now I thought that was a silly question since Julius was able to identify boys vs. girls since he was 18 months old. So I figure he's being silly. I answer, "No, silly goose. Mommy's a girl."
He pauses, then says, "No, Mommy. You're a boy."
I'm baffled. So I ask, "Why do you think Mommy is a boy?"
He replies, "Because you play with my toys."
"Yes, I play with your toys with you."
It makes so much sense in his two year old mind, "You're a boy."
So I ask, "What would make me a girl?"
Again, his logic astounds me. "Claire (his neighborhood friend) plays with girl toys. She's a girl."
So I explain to him that boys can play with boy toys and girl toys. And that girls can play with girl toys and boy toys. And that it's okay to play with whatever toy you want to play with.
So now I sit here wondering how he had come to that previous conclusion about Mommy being a boy because I would play with his toys with him? Did someone tell him in school that he had to play with certain "boy" toys or else he was a girl? And if so, what two year old says that? Did he see it on television? And I think about what shows he watches, and none of them are gender specific. In fact, he barely watches television. But he does love watching Little Bear before dinner, and that is rather conservative IMO. Though I like the idea of Little Bear using his imagination and flying to the moon, blah blah blah... the roles do seem a bit gender specific (mother bear stays at home: cooks and cleans. father bear is a fisherman and often at work. Emily plays with dolls and has tea parties.... hmmm, could that be it?)
How can a two year old (okay, he's 31 months, but that's still a two year old) conclude that boys must play with boy toys and girls must play with girl toys? Is this an example of the Social Learning Theory at work? But I always thought that children didn't notice gender roles until the age of four or five....
Julius is TWO!!
Blows my mind. Totally blows my mind.
2 comments:
i know julius is smart, but that really is incredible! i've been thinking of this... a friend recently said "my boy is playing with trucks so it must be innate because we give him all toys..." but i wonder about all the information we absorb unconsciously. friend's toys, commercials, magazines at the grocery counter... i think adults get good at ignoring these things, but to a 2-year-old, it's all new information. who knows? but so interesting!
it really is so interesting! Children are so much smarter than most people give them credit for. They pick up little nuances here and there and suddenly they're their own person. A child's development is just incredible.
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