okay... ow!

So for about five months, I've been in pain. Somedays it's been good, and somedays it's been really bad, but overall I'm functional. I'm supposedly scheduled for a follow-up sonogram mid-June, but I think I might have to change it to an earlier date because the past few days have been hell... and I know the signs: it's going to get worse before it settles down to a dull ache.

I told myself I would call to schedule the sonogram for this Wednesday... but I didn't. I took a nap instead. And so now, I'm downing Motrin and thinking to myself "okay Moron, call tomorrow!" But I'm sure I'll come up with another excuse. I'm so good at making them.

It's like, I want to get it done, but then I think: if I wait just a little longer... then maybe they'll see how much pain I'm in and agree to do surgery? It's stupid, I know. It makes little sense, I know. Everyone knows that if I bitch long enough my doctor will remove the cyst just to shut me up.

I think part of me wants to wait until I'm on my 2 week vacation... it would just be easier. I wouldn't have to find a substitute to teach my class, I wouldn't have to call and reschedule visits with families I work with... and I wouldn't have to take any sick leave!

So I guess I'll just see what happens tomorrow.