Maturity Awareness Approach.

Thank goodness for good friends. Today a good friend of mine shared a wonderful article that talks about using the Maturity Awareness Approach when dealing with highly immature adults. I highly recommend anyone who is stuck in this never-ending cycle of "nothing will ever be good enough in their eyes" (which then undermines your confidence and self-esteem), to read more about this methodology before you become (more) anxiously vigilant as you try to avoid the emotional backlash that comes from not guessing correctly what the "appropriate" response to anything and everything should be.

To summarize The Maturity Awareness Approach:

1. Use Your Observer Mind
Rather than trying to engage these specific people, emotional detachment is much safer. Use your thinking function rather than your emotional reactivity, and you will no longer be their emotional victim.

2. Express and Then Let Go
One of the hardest things to realize is that trying to get a satisfying response will not work. It is far more effective to say what you need to say using clear, intimate communication, while releasing any expectation that they will change.

3. Focus on the Outcome, Not the Relationship
You can’t expect empathy or fairness from an emotionally immature adult. Instead, think about the specific outcome you want, rather than trying to improve the relationship.

4. Manage, Don’t Engage
Manage the conversation instead of reacting to what the person says. Make explicit goals for topic and duration, and guide things toward where you want to end up. By managing toward the outcome you want, you avoid the frustration of having all conversations hijacked and leaving you feeling emotionally drained and resentful.

biblio:
Lindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D
www.drlindsaygibson.com/

This is good stuff.