why not?

Bleh

Usually I love the fall. I love watching the leaves change color. I love going on nature walks. I love the crisp air and the smell of autumn...

But instead of being excited, I've been feeling pretty bleh. Work has been difficult. I'm just not happy with the administration and all the micromanagement. And unfortunately, the stress has seeped into my home life. My weekends are spent dreading the following workweek. My evenings are spent dreading the next work day.

It's frustrating because I have always loved my job, but now with all the changes that have occurred in it has turned the enjoyment into an ugly horrible feeling that won't go away. I sometimes feel physically sick just thinking about it. I need a change.

I just need to get out of this Bleh.

Welcome to Fall

I can't believe I haven't posted since June.
I am a terrible blogger. I am, however, an obsessed Facebook junkie.
Perhaps Facebook has made me too lazy to actually write my thoughts down: thoughts that are more than just a "status update."



Things have been well. My children are growing. I'm growing too. I think I've grown a lot since summer. We've had a lot of ups and downs, and I think when things like that happen, you tend to grow. You're always learning, you're always becoming wiser and more experienced... and sometimes you need to learn these things on your own.



So, yes, we've all grown. And summer is officially over. Welcome to a new season: one that is hopefully filled with a lot of Ups.

Mr. Five Year Old

My little boy is now a big five year old!!



Can you believe it?!?

Carrots

I turned my back for a second and....








She was pretty darn proud of herself :)

May

Is it May? Really?!
Time has really flown by. It's amazing how the days seem to lag and then suddenly it's a whole other month and you realize that what you thought was lagging was just a blur of exhaustion, and now you're starting to wake up and see the sun.



This picture was taken at my favorite museum, The Hirshhorn Museum and sculpture garden. http://hirshhorn.si.edu/

Julius says that the picture behind us reminded him of when light hits a diamond. Aren't kids amazing?

Isabella is already six months old...


and Julius will b graduating from preK on Wednesday!



It's already May... the middle of May.. closer to the end and the start of June, when Julius turns five.

Am I really thirty? Am I really a mother of two wonderful children?
Oh my God, I am a grown-up. When did this happen?

Jan. 2009

I finally uploaded photos for the month of January. It's been a whirlwind of a month... the stress of going back to work, getting used to being a mom for two instead of one child, and a multitude of family illnesses, including Julius being hospitalized for a possible appendicitis (thankfully though, it was just a really bad stomach virus).

I'll be returning to work on Tuesday. I have mixed feelings about it. I think it'll be nice to be out of the house and with my peers doing something I love... but then I remember deadlines and stupid office politics and the annoying gossip....and I look at my two great kids and my heart hurts because I'm going to have to split my time even more.... and little Isabella has no idea what's about to happen. And that breaks my heart even more.



And then I get angry. Angry at the stupid system we live in. If I was in Canada, I'd have the option of taking an entire year off (instead of just 12 weeks: 6 weeks of it unpaid). The United States is supposed to be one of the greatest countries in the world... it boasts being the best, so you would think it would treat its residents with some dignity... but no, instead our maternity leave is similar to third world countries.
From Mom's Rising (http://www.momsrising.org/maternity)

* Having a baby is a leading cause of "poverty spells" in the U.S. -- when income dips below what's needed for basic living expenses.
* In the U.S., 49% of mothers cobble together paid leave following childbirth by using sick days, vacation days, disability leave, and maternity leave.
* 51% of new mothers lack any paid leave -- so some take unpaid leave, some quit, some even lose their jobs.
* The U.S is one of only 4 countries that doesn't offer paid leave to new mothers -- the others are Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and Lesotho.
* Paid family leave has been shown to reduce infant mortality by as much as 20% (and the U.S. ranks a low 37th of all countries in infant mortality).


It disgusts me. Hopefully Obama's changes will include fixing maternity/paternity leave.

reactions

I had told myself that this time it would be different. I wasn't a first-time mom anymore. I had experience, I would be calm. I wouldn't feel helpless and rely on others for advice...

Even when I was diagnosed with hyperemesis, I refused to let it get to me. Even when I was put on an IV for five months, I refused to be brought down. I was calm, I did my best to smile and always look on the bright side... when I went into labor, I was calm and filled with humor.

And when Isabella was born, everything was great. She was always happy. I can easily read her cues... everything was great.

And then yesterday I felt like a first time mom again.

Yesterday she had her first vaccinations. DTap, Hib, PCV, IPV and the Rotavirus vaccine.

It seemed like a lot. I knew the Rotavirus one was new. Julius never had that one.
I knew he had the others, but did he have all of them at 2 months?

She was going to have two shots and the oral vaccination (Rotavirus). I researched it, everything seemed fine. I was going in as an educated second-time parent. No worries.

First Isabella was given the oral vaccination. She made a face (it obviously tasted gross), started coughing, but kept it down. She seemed fine.

Then she had the shots. Again, her response was minimal. She cried out for a second and then stopped. When I picked her up, she smiled. Everything was fine. I was happy, she seemed happy...and I knew the Tylenol was kicking in so I put her in her carseat and drove home. She went right to sleep on the ride home.

When we got home, I put her in her crib and began to do some chores. I was so proud of how I handled the morning (when Julius had his first set of shots, I was a crying mess and kept vigil by his side for probably the entire day and the next).

Then at noon she woke up. She woke up crying. Isabella never wakes up crying.

I thought she was just really hungry, so I picked her up and attempted to nurse her.

She arched her back, she screamed louder. Her little face was bright red. I kept my cool. I tried again. It was as if she didn't know I was holding her. She kept crying and screaming, her whole body stiff. I tried burping her, rocking her, nursing her on the other side...she stopped briefly to latch on, and within seconds started wailing the most painful cry I had ever heard from her.

I was beginning to get that feeling. That sinking, helpless feeling where the room was feeling hot and I remembered once when I was walking at the Rio Center and there was a woman holding a newborn and she was near tears because this was her first time venturing out with her son and he was fussing and she had this look... this deer in the headlights look... this look of fearful unknown, of "is this okay? is this normal? what am I doing wrong???"

And that was me at that moment. Was this okay? Was this normal? What was I doing wrong?

I rocked her, I walked with her, I sang to her, I changed her, I tried nursing her, I put her down, I held her, I put her on her vibrating chair... nothing was working.

Suddenly it was two o'clock and it was time for her Tylenol. I gave it to her and called the doctor. They told me to wait for the Tylenol to take effect and to take her temp.

No temp. Still screaming.

They suggested a bath.

The bath helped for about 4 minutes. Four beautiful minutes. And then she began crying again.

I walked her, I tried nursing (still not nursing at this point), I rocked her, I changed her, I sang to her, I danced with her...

3:30 I call the doctor again and he's in with a patient, so I put her in the car (it's raining now) and we drive to his office.

They call 5 minutes later. Try Motrin and gas drops. So I drive back home and give her Motrin and gas drops as she screams and screams...

At 4:30, she falls asleep.

I'm a shaking mess.

She sleeps for an hour and then wakes up with this lost look in her eyes. She isn't crying, but she isn't my little Isabella. She's like a zombie. I feel like crying.

She's listless and fussy and finally nurses around six. And then she makes eye contact. FINALLY she makes eye contact and I know she's going to be okay.

That night is rough. Her stomach is bothering her and she ends up lying all night in our bed as I rub circles on her stomach.

She wakes her several times that night (she usually only wakes up 2-3x) crying. Crying. My little girl doesn't wake up crying. It was a rough night.

At 7:30 am, she's awake, but not smiling. She's fussy.

She smiles at 8:30 and I feel like flying.

She's still fussy and cries on/off, but it's not that ear-piercing shriek that she was making for over 4 hours yesterday.

I called the nurse. We're going to eliminate some of her vaccinations and space out the others.

Exactly 24 hours after the ordeal first began, Isabella finally looked at me, smiled and made a couple of cooing noises. She's finally back.

hello again

It's been awhile. I've been having such a great time being at home without the stress of work. Of course I'm still checking my work email, getting updates from co-workers, etc., etc... but no deadlines, no rush hour traffic... it's great!

And I'm bonding with Isabella. She looks at me with this, "Hey, I know you!" look and smiles so big... it just lights me up.



Julius adores her. He's so happy to have a sister. He gives her hugs, and when he's sad he'll actually talk to her and it helps him so much: he smiles as he looks at her, and when he's done, he pulls her into a hug and and starts to laugh. It's just so beautiful to watch.

I feel so complete in my life. Just the four of us. It fits.

welcome, Isabella!

Isabella was born on November 2, 2008
at 5:29 pm
weighing 7 lbs and 1.6 ounces
and measuring at 20.25 inches in length

countdown

I had my baby shower yesterday. It was a lot of fun. It's nice to get together with family and friends and just relax, eat, chat.... I think we all had a good time.

I feel very fortunate to have such generous people in my life. I was given a lot of nice items to help with the new arrival (which really helped since I donated most of Julius' old baby stuff to Hurricane Katrina!)



I can't believe that in a few weeks I'll be a mommy to two little darlings instead of one little darling!

one of my fav songs/videos

I found it on youtube... I've always loved this song and video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elVMHKb8A4A

Placebo: special needs

ten more weeks to go

Hopefully more like 7 or 8 weeks to go.... lol Julius was born at 37 weeks, so I'm hoping Isabella will be born around 37-38 weeks as well.

I'm just really, really tired of being pregnant. The nausea has come back, but thankfully I'm not puking. I'm always so tired and sore...everything hurts. It's so annoying. I feel like a walrus, I walk like a penguin and I'm so moody....

Some people enjoy being pregnant. I'm not one of those people.

In other news, Julius started preschool last weeek. My little boy is growing up! LOL He goes every morning (M-F)... can you believe it? It's started already. School every weekday for many more years to come.... Poor kid. LOL But I'm glad he's enjoying it. His preschool teacher is awesome. She's just so happy and I feel that's so important. She really seems to enjoy her job.

Palin: wrong woman, wrong message (taken from the LA Times)

http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/opinion/la-oe-steinem4-2008sep04,0,1290251.story

By Gloria Steinem
September 4, 2008
Here's the good news: Women have become so politically powerful that even the anti-feminist right wing -- the folks with a headlock on the Republican Party -- are trying to appease the gender gap with a first-ever female vice president. We owe this to women -- and to many men too -- who have picketed, gone on hunger strikes or confronted violence at the polls so women can vote. We owe it to Shirley Chisholm, who first took the "white-male-only" sign off the White House, and to Hillary Rodham Clinton, who hung in there through ridicule and misogyny to win 18 million votes.

But here is even better news: It won't work. This isn't the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It's about making life more fair for women everywhere. It's not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It's about baking a new pie.

Selecting Sarah Palin, who was touted all summer by Rush Limbaugh, is no way to attract most women, including die-hard Clinton supporters. Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton. Her down-home, divisive and deceptive speech did nothing to cosmeticize a Republican convention that has more than twice as many male delegates as female, a presidential candidate who is owned and operated by the right wing and a platform that opposes pretty much everything Clinton's candidacy stood for -- and that Barack Obama's still does. To vote in protest for McCain/Palin would be like saying, "Somebody stole my shoes, so I'll amputate my legs."

This is not to beat up on Palin. I defend her right to be wrong, even on issues that matter most to me. I regret that people say she can't do the job because she has children in need of care, especially if they wouldn't say the same about a father. I get no pleasure from imagining her in the spotlight on national and foreign policy issues about which she has zero background, with one month to learn to compete with Sen. Joe Biden's 37 years' experience.

Palin has been honest about what she doesn't know. When asked last month about the vice presidency, she said, "I still can't answer that question until someone answers for me: What is it exactly that the VP does every day?" When asked about Iraq, she said, "I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq."


She was elected governor largely because the incumbent was unpopular, and she's won over Alaskans mostly by using unprecedented oil wealth to give a $1,200 rebate to every resident. Now she is being praised by McCain's campaign as a tax cutter, despite the fact that Alaska has no state income or sales tax. Perhaps McCain has opposed affirmative action for so long that he doesn't know it's about inviting more people to meet standards, not lowering them. Or perhaps McCain is following the Bush administration habit, as in the Justice Department, of putting a job candidate's views on "God, guns and gays" ahead of competence. The difference is that McCain is filling a job one 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency.

So let's be clear: The culprit is John McCain. He may have chosen Palin out of change-envy, or a belief that women can't tell the difference between form and content, but the main motive was to please right-wing ideologues; the same ones who nixed anyone who is now or ever has been a supporter of reproductive freedom. If that were not the case, McCain could have chosen a woman who knows what a vice president does and who has thought about Iraq; someone like Texas Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison or Sen. Olympia Snowe of Maine. McCain could have taken a baby step away from right-wing patriarchs who determine his actions, right down to opposing the Violence Against Women Act.

Palin's value to those patriarchs is clear: She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women's wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves "abstinence-only" programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers' millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn't spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.

I don't doubt her sincerity. As a lifetime member of the National Rifle Assn., she doesn't just support killing animals from helicopters, she does it herself. She doesn't just talk about increasing the use of fossil fuels but puts a coal-burning power plant in her own small town. She doesn't just echo McCain's pledge to criminalize abortion by overturning Roe vs. Wade, she says that if one of her daughters were impregnated by rape or incest, she should bear the child. She not only opposes reproductive freedom as a human right but implies that it dictates abortion, without saying that it also protects the right to have a child.

So far, the major new McCain supporter that Palin has attracted is James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Of course, for Dobson, "women are merely waiting for their husbands to assume leadership," so he may be voting for Palin's husband.

Being a hope-a-holic, however, I can see two long-term bipartisan gains from this contest.

Republicans may learn they can't appeal to right-wing patriarchs and most women at the same time. A loss in November could cause the centrist majority of Republicans to take back their party, which was the first to support the Equal Rights Amendment and should be the last to want to invite government into the wombs of women.

And American women, who suffer more because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can't be equal outside the home until men are equal in it. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.

This could be huge.

Gloria Steinem is an author, feminist organizer and co-founder of the Women's Media Center. She supported Hillary Clinton and is now supporting Barack Obama.

running the numbers

An American Self-Portrait

http://www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php?id=7


It's amazing... please check it out!

photos from OBX

Julius and his cousin, Jonah, sharing a big hug :)


Josh and Julius at the NC aquarium


Julius and I at the Currituck Lighthouse


Julius: ready to climb the 218 steps to the top of the lighthouse


And lastly, check out my big ol' pregnant belly! :)

Today Julius started his Mitey Mites hockey session. It was so adorable watching all these four and five year olds skating around the ice in their equipment and jerseys trying to get the puck into the goal.

Of course Julius, being such a sweetheart, spent so much time wanting to help every child that fell down, that he missed a lot of the pucks. LOL But he had a fun time and everyone left the ice with a new sticker to put on their helmet :)

The other night we went to see a Frederick Keys game. They had their annual peanut-free night. It was a lot of fun, and not only did Julius get a baseball that landed in the stands, but he also won an allergen-free teddy bear from the raffle they were having that night!

Summer is going well. Julius is happy that he's going to be a big brother. It's a girl. At least they "are pretty sure" it's a girl. LOL We've already picked out the name: Isabella.

Doesn't it sound so sweet?? Julius and Isabella :)

Jedi Julius

Taken while spending the weekend at Bethany Beach.

(don't mess with a Jedi *lol*)


We had a great time :)

Julius turns 4

17 weeks

I haven't vomited in two days. Hooray! I think the worst is over and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

This past weekend was Julius' birthday party. I'll post photos up soon. It was so much fun! Everyone had a great time :)

so maybe getting off the IV wasn't one of most stellar decisions... I've been feeling pretty crappy: though I won't admit to out loud to anyone!!

I'm really trying to focus on positive thinking. I mean, I'm a firm believer of self-fufilling prophecies, so I doing my best to keep telling myself that I am fine.

It works... except when the evening comes. Then.... augh.

Five more months to go! lol

Hyperemesis Gravidarium

I haven't been posting for awhile. Most of you know that I'm pregnant and I've been dealing with HG and had to go through daily IV treatments and most recently a new combination drug therapy.
Well the side effects were too horrible to live with. So I called my doctor and told her that I would much rather vomit than take the medicine.
Yesterday the nurse came and removed the PICC line from my arm, and today I am officially 15 weeks pregnant!
I'm in a much better mood now that I am off the meds. I'm still puking, but 4-5x a day isn't that big of a deal.
I'm finally starting to get a little tummy, which is just weird. LOL It'll probably be another few weeks before my jeans start getting snug on me, but I'm definitely starting to show!

5 more months to go before Julius is an official big brother :)

No More War

I speak for a man who gave for this land
Took a bullet in the back for his pay
Spilled his blood in the dirt and the dust
He's back to say:

What he has seen is hard to believe
And it does no good to just pray
He asks of us to stand
And we must end this war today

With his mind, he's saying, "No more!"
With his heart, he's saying, "No more!"
With his life he's saying, "No more war!"

With his eyes, he's saying, "No more!"
With his body, he's saying, "No more!"
With his voice, he's saying, "No more war!"

Yeah, nothing's too good for a veteran
Yeah, this is what they say
So nothing is what they will get
And there's no American way

The lies we were told to get us to go
Were criminal 
let us be straight
Let's get to the point where our voices get heard
And I know what I'll say

With his mind, he's saying, "No more!"
With his heart, he's saying, "No more!"
With his life he's saying, "No more war!"

With his eyes, he's saying, "No more!"
With his voice, he's saying, "No more!"
With his body, he's saying, "No more war!"

No more innocents dying
No more terror rising
No more eulogizing
No more evangelizing
No more presidents lying
No more war

With our minds, we're saying, "No more!"
With our hearts, we're saying, "No more!"
With our lives, we're saying, "No more war!" 

background noise

today we had a wonderful presentation on the research of tv/video watching on child's brain and language development. One thing that I loved was how the presenter didn't say "kids shouldn't watch TV!" because, duh, that's practically impossible for a parent to prevent unless they don't own a television to begin with. But what was really interesting was the information about what happens when television is on as background noise. There are actual studies that observe kids playing when the tv is on vs. on, while parents are engaged with them with tv on and with tv off, and the ability to filter out language when there is a lot of noise going on (tv on, people talking around them and someone talking to the specific child). Anywho, the presenter has a website that is equally interesting www.lisaguernsey.com

past lives

Julius has always said things that blew my mind. For example, once my mom had commented to him that she had lost her earring and was looking all over the backyard for it. He told her (without even seeing her that whole day) "Mima, it's not outside. It's in your room." Sure enough, that evening, my mom found it lying on her bed. He's always saying things like this. It's really incredible.

This morning was no different:

Today we were sitting on the sofa watching tv while sharing a snack. There was this kids' music video thingy on it about a train in a Japan. I pointed to the screen and said, "That's a country called Japan." Julius turned to me and replied very seriously, "I know that Mommy. I used to live in Japan before you were born." And then he turned back to the television and continued to eat his fruit snack.

Wha----????! LOL

Vote/Boat

Today I went to vote. Julius tagged along and listened as I explained the importance of voting, what happens when we vote, and what it means for people to vote.... he was listening very intently and watched as I voted on the screen in the booth.
As we walked back to the car, Julius asked me, "But, Mommy, where are the boats?"

LOL

taking it all in stride

So I'm walking down the stairs and Julius, who is standing by the bathroom door, looks at me and laughs before running into the bathroom and slams the door behind him.
Curious, I open the door, and there, before my eyes... Julius has squirted Arnica (it's a first aid ointment that I had left out a few hours earlier when Julius ran his bike into a tree) all over the sink and counter.
Shaking my head, I ask, "I can't leave anything out, can I?"
Julius answers me very seriously, "Mommy, it's my job."
"Oh?" I ask, "What's your job?"
"To do naughty things," he replies, and I can tell he's trying hard not to smile.
"Really?" I ask as I turn around to get the towel.
"Yes," he nods, "See?" Picking up his glass of water, he turns it upside down and spills all the water out onto the counter (mixing it so nicely with the splattered ointment). Laughing, he then quickly runs out the bathroom.

Shaking my head. That's my Julius! LOL

Happy Holidays

Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season: whatever holiday it is that you celebrate!

Hugs,

me.

Sabrina's Law

Sabrina's Law documentary

The things that kids say

the other day Julius was running all around the house pretending to be a race car. We both were. It's a game we play. We're both race cars and after "1, 2, 3 Go!" we run all around the main floor. It's a lot of fun. Often we try to bang into each other (gently of course!) and then fall onto the floor. I try to get up and Julius manages to crawl on top of me to take the lead... it's amazing excerise. LOL
Anyway, after the fifth or sixth time I comment, "How much energy do you have!"
He stops running for a moment and is deep in thought. Looking up at me, he says, "At least two mommy. I have a lot." LOL!!!!

About twenty minutes ago Julius woke up. I went to check on him and he's mumbling something to me. I say, "what?" He repeats it, "theresahca....mmm..." again, I say, "Pardon?" He repeats again,"ca....mmm.." I say, "What???" Yawning, he repeats, "There's a car in here, Mommy." Then rolls over and goes back to sleep. ROFLOL

He just cracks me up.

Oh! About a week ago Julius and my mother-in-law were playing with playdoh (making hockey guys: no surprise there!), and Julius stated that he was God. My mother-in-law asked if he knew who God was. He said "Yes, God made us." When she told me this, I thought, "wow, how awesome. He's making people out of play doh, so he's God in play doh world. It makes so much sense." Three year olds are so smart.

Hmmm... what other cute things has he said? I love when he says comments with the words, "Actually..." in it. It's just the most adorable thing. Someone says something and then, ever the diplomat, Julius responds with an, "Actually,...."

He is sooo cute!! LOL :)

going to see a specialist on monday

So I'm off to see a specialist on monday to discuss my endo and what my next steps are since the first surgery didn't help me as much as I would've liked.

True, the pain is less, but it's still there. My now-former obgyn suggested that I do another surgery or try to get pregnant.

Josh and I have been contemplating having a second child. So this might be Fate telling us to get on with it. I dunno, I guess I want to wait and hear what the specialist has to say. I think I'd rather go in for another laproscopy before attempting to conceive. But again, I'll wait until Monday when I talk to this Dr.

old post from Bill Clinton

From Bill Clinton
www.clintonfoundation.org

Late last night, I arrived in Johannesburg, where I began my six-day tour of Africa to see my Foundation's efforts firsthand, learn from those who are making a difference, and hear the amazing stories of hope from the people we are touching through our work. I know many of you have been following the preparations for my journey at www.ClintonFoundation.org/Africa. If you haven't, I invite you to visit our site, where you can pledge your support, tell your friends about what we're doing, and read stories from the field on our blog. I just posted my first entry, and I look forward to reading your comments when I get back to New York.

The language of Nelson Mandela's tribe, Xhosa, has a word that perfectly sums up our work in Africa: Ubuntu. In English, it translates as "I am because you are." In this increasingly interdependent world, our fate is inextricably linked with the fate of young people of modest means who are eager to serve their community in South Africa, struggling farmers in Malawi, and Tanzanians who require life-saving AIDS medicine to survive. We have an obligation to help those in need and an unprecedented opportunity to do good in this world, but we can't do it without your support. Join our journey at www.ClintonFoundation.org/Africa

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

P.S. How will you partner with us to make change in Africa? Leave your thoughts and comments on our blog.

pollyticks.com

pollyticks.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTGMlRX-dH4&mode=related&search=

well I feel like a fool

I must have missed the memo that said Pluto isn't really a planet. Wikepdia says, "Originally classified as a planet, Pluto is now recognised as the largest member of a distinct region called the Kuiper belt. Like other members of the belt, it is primarily composed of rock and ice and is relatively small." So, like I said, I feel like a fool! LOL When I was really young, I had this book called "Planets," and each page gave a summary of the nine planets. I loved that book because the pictures were so beautiful and the book itself was easy to read. I was like, in first grade or something I think, so it was very child-friendly. I wonder what the science books say now. I can only imagine how many times they need to change things regarding astronomy. In college, I attempted to take an astronomy course. I failed. But I did try!! It's just so overwhelming... I loved the class, but I had the hardest time remembering the names of all the moons and the different bodies in space.... it was so confusing! But I would love to sit down one day and just have someone explain it all to me. :)

allergies

wow. So I'm a member of allergymoms.com and received my newsletter containing a lot of really interesting info in it.
On area of interest that seriously made my heart skip several beats was this blog:

Peanut Allergy (over) Reactions
Filed under: Uncategorized — Gina Clowes | August 28, 2007 @ 2:19 pm (Views: 786)
I thought some of you might be interested in this bloggers view of peanut bans. For what its worth, I find the allergy parent community pretty evenly divided on bans, some supporting, others not. Some of us have other children who can and do eat peanut products. Others have children with multiple food allergies so that food bans cannot be the answer to keeping them safe.


Here’s a quote:
“I immediately contacted the school to find the name and addresses of the student(s) with the wayward genetics. They declined to give me that information citing something about privacy. But I wanted to know how many people could die if I fed my daughter peanut butter as part of her nutritious lunch. “

OMG!!! So then I strat reading the responses and they vary from

am a loving and caring mother and kindergarten teacher. There is a child entering my school with a severe allergy to peanuts. My daughter will be in this students class. My child loves peanut butter and eats it probably twice a day. To change is more than a minor inconvience.

I don’t want another child to get sick or die but someday we are going to have to draw a line when banning foods. My daughter is allergic to milk. My husband has a severe allergy to wheat and glutens. Wheat allergies are becoming more and more prevailent in the population. Will we eventually ban it too?

If I send a peanut butter sandwhich to school with my daughter, most likely she will be the one sitting by herself or singled out and she isn’t the one with the problem. This is a cold statement, but at what point is the allergy so severe that the parents say (or should say) I will keep them at home and make other arrangements, rather than inconviencing everyone else? Could schools offer tutors to go to the home?

to heartbreaking ones such as

A nut ban at school will lower and just about eliminate a schools risk of having an unfortunate death from anaphalaxis.

My 13 year old daughter died last year from her peanut allergy. The menu of the restaurant she ate at is 99.61% peanut free and guess what– the careless food preparer still cross contaminated her sandwich with trace amounts of peanut butter cookie. We miss her dearly every day.

Granted my perspective is tainted but why aren’t we doing all we can to protect our precious children? A ban is just one of the tools in the toolbox to protect our children. Education, raising awareness, emergency plans, training, etc. should also be part of every school’s plans. With education and awareness, maybe then we can eliminate careless food preparers because they understand the dangers.

The number of children with food allergies and multiple food allergies continues to rise. Change will come. I pray it is sometime soon.

So, being that I am a parent with a child that has life-threatening food allergies, I just feel like we're being pushed out to sea.

And I've MET people who don't take the allergies seriously. I've spoken to people who don't see what the big deal is. People who think that Josh and I are just hysterical parents...

They've never had to witness their small child swell up like a balloon, break out into hives, have his tongue swell up and wheezing all from barely licking something that he was allergic to!

I am thankful every day that Julius is no longer allergic to wheat and milk, but he is still severely allergic to legumes, nuts and eggs. Ingesting any of those could very well kill him.

And then to read about these people who suggest that MY child, along will all other children with severe food allergies, stay HOME and be TUTORED???? That THEIR child shouldn't have to 'punished' by not being allowed to eat foods that might KILL MY CHILD??? Holy crap, expand your child's food repertoire! There is more to life than peanut butter sandwiches!!!

I'm just completely baffled, stunned, angry, hurt, confused and pissed off about this.

crosses among other things

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/14/AR2007091402501.html

I read this article today and the guy in it sounded so much like me. I found it ironic that I had just mentioned this personal topic to Josh a few days ago.

I grew up in a very religious household. I went to CCD (continuing catholic...development? I dunno, something like that), had all my sacraments, etc. etc.... and as I got older and began to question the Church, I began having this silent struggle within myself, but continued going to church because my mom made me. And when I realized that I did not believe in so many things that the priests were saying that I was suppose to believe it, then I told myself that I could still go to church because what those "men behind the pulpit" were saying were just men. It wasn't God's words. God wasn't saying that birth control, abortion, homosexuality, premarital sex and later, stem cell research, was wrong. It was the guys running the show that was saying all those stuff.

I got married and continued going to Church. I prayed often. I was probably fairly religious. But slowly it changed. Not because my husband is Jewish. Not because a lot of my friends came from different faiths... but because I began to realize that I was tuning things out when I went to church. I was making excuses for things priests were saying that I didn't agree with... and when I became pregnant, my visits to church became less frequent. And when Julius was born, I pretty much only attended for Easter and Christmas. And that has remained.

For awhile I thought I could find a liberal catholic church. But when I googled it, all I got back was episcopalian.

My eyes were opened. So many extremists were killing people "in the name of God." People were judging others "in the name of God." People were HATING people, "in the name of God."

And that disgusted me.

So many hypocrites. So much politics. It was disgusting.

I believe in so many things that the Church says NO to. And I can no longer make excuses or tune out the things I want to tune out.

ANd I don't want to put Julius in a position where some guy in a robe who says he is preaching God's word, tell him about what he can and can't believe in and follow. I will not have some guy tell Julius that it's wrong to do this and believe in that and question this, etc. etc. NO!

So I'm at a point in my life where I'm feeling like the man in the above article from England. I feel loathing, I feel anger... I feel my blood boil when someone starts to talk about religion.

I'm not atheist. I still believe in God and somewhere in me I still believe in religion as a personal belief (and not as an organizational group that promotes judging others and living in a bubble).

I'm not envious of the people I know who are religious. I think I might be more envious of those who are not. Those who can easily shrug their shoulders when asked about God and heaven. I stare at awe at those people because they don't have to feel this burden.

So many years of having Catholicism shoved down my throat has made me jumpy and defensive.

Maybe when Julius is older, we might join an interfaith community. Who knows what the future brings? Julius knows about God. I've told him that much. He knows a bit about Jesus and the Virgin Mary. Josh has told him some about the Jewish faith. I think our son is pretty well-rounded. He's not like one of my friend's kid who can probably recite passages of the Bible.. but I would NEVER want that from my son.

One night when Julius was lying in our bed, we began talking about God and decided to 'pray.' And I made it a point not to just regurgitate a prayer. We talked. Julius talked to God. I talked to God. Josh talked to God. And it was nice.

That was nice.

That I can do.

you know what sucks?

I just typed up a very lengthy blog about music and dancing and videos and had links and... and... when I went to upload a photo of Julius playing his guitar, the whole freakin' screen closed. GONE! Poof!!!
I can't figure out when and how this happened, but for some reason, whenever a window closes (like when I'm uploading something and the upload is complete, or while in Outlook and the message sends and thus the window automatically closes), all the windows close!!
I've tried re-booting my computer and it doesn't do any good. I've looked through the settings and I just can't figure it out!!
Does anyone know what on earth I'm supposed to do to fix this?? It's seriously going to drive me insane.

pink

http://thechronicleherald.ca/Front/858884.html

Isn't this great? Though in my high school we never had any issues about bullying students who were homosexual (no one really cared who you prefered to sleep with... it was just amazing that you were actually fucking someone) But I know there must have been schools that did have those problems, which is just awful.

So how nice it was to read this about two high schoolers in Nova Scotia. http://thechronicleherald.ca/Front/858884.html I hope more kids are like them. I would love to hear more about kids like these, or Marc Hall (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marc_Hall) .... kids making a difference in this world by teaching tolerance, understanding and most of all, acceptance.

I do remember something from my first year in high school: we got word that a new 6th grader male student, (high school and junior high were in different buildings, miles apart) came to school wearing a dress. No one was fazed by it all. I think most of my friends just shrugged. It wasn't a big deal to us, which I suppose wasn't the same within other schools.

Geesh, it's hard to type when my three year old is singing in the top of his lungs... I hope this makes sense. LOL

art works

I remember in one of my courses at GWU we had a segment on art & children. It was really interesting because it spoke about how a child views him or herself in a self-portrait. It starts with a scribble, then as the child gets older, it's pretty much just a head, and then slowly more and more body parts start to appear and slowly it all becomes proportional.

Ken, my wonderful brother-in-law (http://www.kenflett.com/)once suggested that I have Julius draw a picture of me (when I had dyed my hair and my camera wasn't working and therefore couldn't share my new look with anyone via online). So yesterday I took it a step further and asked Julius if he could draw a family picture.

The black is our house. The orange is Julius (which is so amusing because when he was an infant he had wisps of red hair and we would call him Orange Julius), the red is me, and the green is Josh.

I found it fascinating just to watch Julius scribble the house, and then make mostly a head for each of us and more scribbles around it for the rest of the body.

Anywho, I wanted to share the picture with everyone :)

night terrors

When I was a little girl, I used to have nightmares and night terrors. As I got older, they decreased, but I still get them from time to time.

Last night I had one. Since I remember it, I guess it would be a nightmare and not a terror,... it was awful! I don't remember all of it...but what I do remember was that there was a monster.

I had to spend the night somewhere...and there was someone with me, but I can't remember who... and I think we fell asleep... or were about to fall asleep... when someone runs by and announces that the number to keep the monster away is two.

And then it gets really dark and cold, and then I suddenly feel something sharp scraping against my neck. So I quickly put my hand on my neck and I'm gasping out the number two between breath because I suddenly can't breathe very well, and the person next to me is grabbing onto me for dear life and we're both screaming "two!" and trying to breath quickly before shouting out the number again, and the teeth are so sharp and I suddenly feel sharp nails on my back and I feel my skin being ripped open and suddenly...

I hear Josh shouting for me to wake up because I'm screaming and thrashing around in the bed.

I open my eyes and I don't remember much of what happened immediately afterwards, but I remember that Julius was sitting on the bed just staring at me, and then he asked, "Did you have a bad dream, Mommy?"

And I said, "Yes, I did."

And then Julius gave me hug and said, "It's okay now, Mommy."

And I don't think anything could have made me feel better than his sweet hug.

And thinking back, I just have to sit back and watch my little boy in awe. What an awesome kid.

August...wait, almost September...wha?

okay, this month has truly breezed by. Maybe it's because I'm still in vacation-mode, even though I returned to work this past Monday, or maybe it's just too much fresh air... but is it really nearing the end of August? Holy crap, how did that happen?!

In any case, things are going great. Julius is officially potty trained (yes, applauds are welcomed). He pretty much was ready for it. He started sitting on the potty before we left to Quebec, and continued using the portable potty I bought for the drive up to Canada, and again, continued when we were in Mont Tremblant!! Returning home: not a problem.

It's fabulous. No more diapers. It's a fantastic feeling.

My little boy is growing up!!!!

pascale picard

Picard Pascale was performing in Mont Tremblant this evening. They were great! Julius LOVED them. The singer has such a great voice and the music was really awesome.
Julius was dancing wildly and even made a new friend. The two little boys were dancing around and having a great time!!! One of the roadies gave Julius a paper coaster with the band name and singer's picture on it, and Julius ran around the area with it in his hand and dancing with it. After awhile, he came back to get another coaster for his friend.
The performance was great, the songs were great, and everyone had a super time!